Working from the Ballroom yesterday, I made the mistake of opening the window next to my desk for several hours. I wanted fresh air. I knew, somewhere, that this was not what was on the outside of the window frame, but I allowed myself the human-ness of delusion. After all, I had felt nothing for the last week of this intense smokiness. The sun was a perfectly round red-orange ball in the sky, the air was oddly still and everything looked a bit like a sci-fi film. It was strange and interesting. I felt no physical ailment from it at all.
But yesterday, I needed fresh air. And I worked for three hours straight next to an open window.
Then, just as I realized that my salad tasted as though it had gone through a smoker, I felt it.
By the time I left work, I was nauseated and headachy. The kind of yuk that even a plate of truffle French fries didn’t help.
Last night, I woke up gasping for air, coughing. It had caught up to me with a revenge.
Smoke in the air.
This morning, we have 3 times worse air quality than Bejing, China.
It’s no fun. It’s harmful.
And today, short of getting on a plane or embarking on a long road trip, there’s little we can do about it.
So, as I start my day and as I know that this terrible stuff is likely be the main topic of conversation in grocery stores, coffee shops and online, I am deciding right now that I need to not let myself get comfy with this easy subject matter over which I have no control.
I believe that my body listens carefully to the stories that my mind, my mouth and other mouths tell. And that it responds.
Today, I need for my body to believe in its ability to perform well, to take good care of me, even under unusual circumstances.
I need to have calm, powerful, grateful thoughts swim through every crevice of my mind and bathe my whole being in trust.
I need to speak and hear words of resilience and health.
I need to come back to me and to that place where all is clear and fresh and friendly.
As you go through your own day and receive offers to engage in varied conversations, I invite you to join me there.
"Every time I read your blog I am so profoundly happy I did. The truth you speak is just mindboggling. The real, real voice you have. It makes me almost crazy how much I love your words and your way of telling stories that cut to the quick- and I never have the words to really say how much this all means to me.
Thank you for digging in there and finding the gems of wisdom and then just sharing them out as if there's an endless supply ... which with you, there is."
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"Thank you for sharing your wonderful, heartbreaking, exhilarating experience with the world."
"Thank You Laura for sharing, for teaching and spreading loving kindness. "
"I think I love you. You bring good things into my life, or remind me of things I love and know, but have let go of."
"Laura, you are so good for me. I laugh and sniffle and get the shivers when I read your essays. Thanks so much for letting all your wonderfulness run around loose."
"Heart-achingly beautiful, your words and how you reveal your truth."
"Thank you so much for who you are and what you share with the world. Your mere being transforms lives as it has transformed mine. This particular post did to my heart what water does to parched soil."
"Thank you for your gentle words that are packed full of wisdom. I have been struggling with the concept of what words can do to another person when they are negative words. Your words are the flip side of our word power, and shows how delightfully powerful kind words can be. Thank you."
"Once again Laura Lavigne takes you on an adventure of the heart. She has a way of pulling you right in the car with her. Asking you to consider changing a fear to taking thoughtful action. Whether she's teaching a class, leading a retreat or heading for a happiness sprinkling, Laura will invite you to shed old ways of thinking and be completely authentic. Join in!"
"Essentially pure love.
I enjoy how Laura is kind to herself and to us other humans who dance in and out of each other's lives. "
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You can count on Laura for warmth, humor, charm, and a lift to your day and your heart. She inspires me to be braver than I am, and to love the world out loud. She's a gem, and a generous one at that!"
I write because this is the way I am able to taste life more deeply.