This morning, I receive this photo of my son, taken three nights ago.
He and some friends climbed up a rock face, and settled up there for the night. About 500 feet above the valley floor. All cozy, you know?
Someone said to me once, before I had kids, that having children was like having your heart walk outside of your body.
As my children grew up, I started to understand that sentence more and more. That feeling of vulnerability, of knowing that at any given time my heart could get crushed irrepairably. I remember this whole concept taking a little while to find its way into me, to the place where eventually, some peace moved in. Some simple surrender. Some sense of being fully aware that while my heart was just as attached, I had less and less control. Acknowledging this diminishing control was surprisingly soothing.
Eventually, my kiddies walked out into the world on their own, and in their own way.
And somehow, as they travel, grow, explore, learn, I manage to sleep through the night. Whereas twenty years ago I used to get up in the middle of the night to check that they were still breathing, I now go to bed each night, at peace.
Because there is nothing I can do about it.
Here's to growing up, alongside our children, alongside the ones we love. Growing that little space inside of us that says that we can love as big as we can - and that we control so very little.
And that it's okay.
(that being said, I am thankful that I didn't know about the 500-feet-above-the-valley-floor camp out until three days later)
Wishing you a peacefully exciting day!
"Thank You Laura for sharing, for teaching and spreading loving kindness. "
"I think I love you. You bring good things into my life, or remind me of things I love and know, but have let go of."
"Laura, you are so good for me. I laugh and sniffle and get the shivers when I read your essays. Thanks so much for letting all your wonderfulness run around loose."
"Thank you so much for who you are and what you share with the world. Your mere being transforms lives as it has transformed mine. This particular post did to my heart what water does to parched soil."
"Thank you for your gentle words that are packed full of wisdom. I have been struggling with the concept of what words can do to another person when they are negative words. Your words are the flip side of our word power, and shows how delightfully powerful kind words can be. Thank you."
"Once again Laura Lavigne takes you on an adventure of the heart. She has a way of pulling you right in the car with her. Asking you to consider changing a fear to taking thoughtful action. Whether she's teaching a class, leading a retreat or heading for a happiness sprinkling, Laura will invite you to shed old ways of thinking and be completely authentic. Join in!"
"Essentially pure love.
I enjoy how Laura is kind to herself and to us other humans who dance in and out of each other's lives. "
"Don't miss an post!
You can count on Laura for warmth, humor, charm, and a lift to your day and your heart. She inspires me to be braver than I am, and to love the world out loud. She's a gem, and a generous one at that!"
I write because this is the way I am able to taste life more deeply.