A friend of mine was having a tough time. Her life had hit one of these bumps that tend to show up once in a while. Because she and I are not very close friends, I did not know what the best way to bring a little relief to her life would be.
I considered asking her to "let me know if she needed anything," but somehow, I sensed that while it would make me feel better to have offered, not much of anything useful would come out of it, for her.
Then I considered offering something specific. Maybe bringing her some soup or some chocolate (this usually works for me). And yet, it still did not feel quite right.
Guided by a burst of inspiration, I chose to take on a more direct tactic and asked her to "tell me three things she needed, right now."
Three things. Three things she needed. Right now.
Immediately, she answered:
Within an hour, I showed up at her door with a hot meal for that night and her medication. Later that evening, I set up a "Meal Train," that would allow other people to join in the privilege of making her life a little easier AND would provide her with some nutritious, effortless food for a while - not to mention remind her of how much she is loved.
I am so glad this very specific question came to my mind. I have a feeling that this is one I will use again and again.
"Tell Me Three Things You Need, Right Now."
I invite your to try it.
"Every time I read your blog I am so profoundly happy I did. The truth you speak is just mindboggling. The real, real voice you have. It makes me almost crazy how much I love your words and your way of telling stories that cut to the quick- and I never have the words to really say how much this all means to me.
Thank you for digging in there and finding the gems of wisdom and then just sharing them out as if there's an endless supply ... which with you, there is."
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I write because this is the way I am able to taste life more deeply.