When we make a plan, especially a plan that does not make full sense yet, there is usually this window of time in which we experience what I call "The Squirmies." The Squirmies usually happen in times of transitions, especially as we near the peak of these transitions.
I don't know much about car mechanics, but I think that as we shift from one gear to the next, some amount of pushing takes place. Maybe a little stress, too. And then the opening, the surrendering is what makes the shift happen. Something like that.
During this process, in our human lives, we will often feel The Squirmies: we know where the next gear is, we know we want to get there, but we don't yet know how, and we are still in the pushing stage, the stress stage.
The release will come from surrendering. The transition, too.
Having hatched a plan that does not make 100% sense, I am now in the midst of the Super Squirmies. And because I know that there can be some level of pleasure / inspiration in watching someone else's process, I am going to share this journey with you. Take what serves, leave the rest, tell me your thoughts.
Ok, so in down-to-earth terms, a few things have to happen before this baby gets launched. A big one being that I need to meet "the right person" to rent my house for 6 months - and take care of my cat. The good news is that I just need one "right person." The challenge is that I have not met that person yet, and my one-way ticket starts in one month.
Of course, this brings up the question of "what happens if I don't meet that person?" - and the answer to that is that I don't know yet.
You see, The Squirmies are full of I don't know and that's what makes them both scary and delicious. Scary because well, we like to know. Or rather to think that we know. Delicious because not knowing means there are millions of possibilities to discover when the time is right. Most likely bigger and better ones than we can imagine.
So, for now, I am doing my "Pray While You Move Your Feet" routine. I talk with people, I practice my Italian, I lighten up my house, I communicate with Joanna who has a sweet room for rent in the hills of Tuscany ... and I trust. I surrender. I talk with the universe and I know, for sure, that whatever happens will be just perfect.
Today, I invite you to make friends with your Squirmies and to trust.
And to come back here for the next chapter :)
"Thank you for sharing your wonderful, heartbreaking, exhilarating experience with the world."
"Thank You Laura for sharing, for teaching and spreading loving kindness. "
"I think I love you. You bring good things into my life, or remind me of things I love and know, but have let go of."
"Laura, you are so good for me. I laugh and sniffle and get the shivers when I read your essays. Thanks so much for letting all your wonderfulness run around loose."
"Heart-achingly beautiful, your words and how you reveal your truth."
"Thank you so much for who you are and what you share with the world. Your mere being transforms lives as it has transformed mine. This particular post did to my heart what water does to parched soil."
"Thank you for your gentle words that are packed full of wisdom. I have been struggling with the concept of what words can do to another person when they are negative words. Your words are the flip side of our word power, and shows how delightfully powerful kind words can be. Thank you."
"Once again Laura Lavigne takes you on an adventure of the heart. She has a way of pulling you right in the car with her. Asking you to consider changing a fear to taking thoughtful action. Whether she's teaching a class, leading a retreat or heading for a happiness sprinkling, Laura will invite you to shed old ways of thinking and be completely authentic. Join in!"
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I enjoy how Laura is kind to herself and to us other humans who dance in and out of each other's lives. "
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I write because this is the way I am able to taste life more deeply.