10 days till I'm on that plane.
A little bit like a roll of toilet paper, things are accelerating disproportionately as I get closer to the end of this chapter. My to-do list is not shrinking nearly as much as I'd like, and I am working hard at keeping my mind peaceful. Thank goodness I am a great sleeper.
Yesterday, as I was packing my things into boxes to be put away for 6 months, I had a brief glimpse of me doing the same thing in reverse, some time in early spring. I would open a box, pick up a photo frame to hang it on the wall, and one gesture at a time, I would put my home together once again.
I could see it, as in a movie: the same movements backwards. What I couldn't see, or really even feel was... me. The me of 6 months from now. The me of having lived this coming chapter, with all its "I Don't Knows."
Surely I would look pretty much the same on the outside. But what about on the inside? What will these months of "I Don't Know" have done to my inner terrain?
Will I be at peace? Will I be on fire? Will I be confused?
Will I be happy with whatever contribution I will have made, while I was gone?
I don't know.
And just as I am working with great focus at making sure that I don't fill these precious blank days with plans, I open up to this unknown, upcoming version of me. And then I put another photo frame in a box, gently, lovingly - with tenderness for this future me who will open it again.
I Don't Know. It's a mighty sweet space, if we can accept it.
To accompany me on this adventure, by receiving my blog posts directly to your inbox, click here.
"Thank You Laura for sharing, for teaching and spreading loving kindness. "
"I think I love you. You bring good things into my life, or remind me of things I love and know, but have let go of."
"Laura, you are so good for me. I laugh and sniffle and get the shivers when I read your essays. Thanks so much for letting all your wonderfulness run around loose."
"Thank you so much for who you are and what you share with the world. Your mere being transforms lives as it has transformed mine. This particular post did to my heart what water does to parched soil."
"Thank you for your gentle words that are packed full of wisdom. I have been struggling with the concept of what words can do to another person when they are negative words. Your words are the flip side of our word power, and shows how delightfully powerful kind words can be. Thank you."
"Once again Laura Lavigne takes you on an adventure of the heart. She has a way of pulling you right in the car with her. Asking you to consider changing a fear to taking thoughtful action. Whether she's teaching a class, leading a retreat or heading for a happiness sprinkling, Laura will invite you to shed old ways of thinking and be completely authentic. Join in!"
"Essentially pure love.
I enjoy how Laura is kind to herself and to us other humans who dance in and out of each other's lives. "
"Don't miss an post!
You can count on Laura for warmth, humor, charm, and a lift to your day and your heart. She inspires me to be braver than I am, and to love the world out loud. She's a gem, and a generous one at that!"
I write because this is the way I am able to taste life more deeply.