Last night I received a text from my friend asking me if I remembered what her Netflix password was and something inside of me stretched into a big smile.
I love that she asked. Not because she has shared her account with me for over a year now which I am regularly grateful for, but because I spend a lot of time thinking about community, including one of the gifts of community: resource sharing. Resource sharing as I see it, is about making each other’s days easier, effortlessly. I have something sitting in my cupboard that is going to elevate your Tuesday night soup to a whole new level and it is going to cost me pretty much nothing to bring you a pinch of it. You may have the name of a great plumber which is going to save me lots of time and energy in getting my shower fixed. And on and on. As we go through life, we accumulate information, tools - and yes, spices. We don’t all accumulate the same ones of course and what a joy it is to be able to share them, to make each other’ lives sweeter, more connected too. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember but it has become more precious since I have moved to a place where I knew no one. Getting here in January, I was so grateful that someone lent me a blanket. And also shared with me the name of the local vet - along with how to get there. For the first few weeks, I had nothing much to contribute and I was firmly anchored on the receiving end of the resource-sharing. I leaned into that, knowing that as soon as I could, I would hop over to the other side. That moment came as I turned the last page of a good book I was reading and thought that hey, someone might enjoy it too. So I posted a photo of the cover on the local FB group and a few hours later met the woman who became my very good friend. She and I are masterful at resource sharing. I can’t even count the number of times when someone sharing a phone number, a medicinal herb, or a good teacher with me has impacted my life in the last four years of this strange and wonderful journey. Community is powerful. I can add so much to your life and you to mine. It can take so little for me to lift you up today and for you to do it for me tomorrow. And that’s the really fun part: the magical mathematical equation. My son and I coined this process years ago while going through a drive-thru bank window. Waiting for our receipt, I noticed that the teller seemed sick with a cold and so along with the pen she had lent me, I passed her a cough drop I had in my purse. She smiled warmly, thanked me, and was unwrapping the cough drop before I started my car. On an investment scale of 1 to 10, it was probably a 1. It took pretty much no effort for me to reach into my bag and hand her the cough drop. On the receiving end, combining the soothing effect of honey and menthol AND feeling seen and cared for, I would say she might have been at a 7. BIG Return On Investment. On the way home, we talked about that. I introduced my child to the ROI acronym and we talked about how it looked in everyday life. We played with how easy it can be to make someone’s day and also have someone make ours. The math stuck. When we dance around with this math as a community, I believe we can move mountains, or maybe leave them just where they are and plant acres of sunflowers all over them. We can heal each other, make each other laugh, fix toilets, and make delicious soup. It’s a Super Power. Thank you for what you have said when it would have been easier to say nothing.
Thank you for when you said nothing when you so much wanted to speak. Thank you for the things you have created this year and thank you for the ideas you have chosen to let pass. Thank you for the colors, the tastes, the sounds. The advice, your ear, your shoulder, your glasses of cold tea. Thank you for coming into my life and thank you for gently leaving it. Thank you for telling me what you needed and letting me give it to you. Thank you for the good mornings, and the nights-nights. The checking-in phone calls. Thank you for the few tears, the many laughs, and thank you, thank you to you. Thank you to me. Thank you to us. The invitation: To get clear on the line that separates what we can affect and what we can’t. What we CAN affect and what we CAN’T. I believe that when we confuse the two sides of the Line, when we are no longer clear as to which is which, we risk entering the chambers of Depression, Hopelessness, and Paralysis. Not a fun place. It makes sense because we receive many attacks, hourly, on this Line. Not all of them ill-intended yet the results are the same: Depression, Hopelessness, and Paralysis. Also there can be a sticky illusion that says that hanging out on that side a whole lot makes us better informed/prepared. Responsible. Better people maybe. The more we are depressed, hopeless, and paralyzed, the harder it becomes for us to see the Line. It fades and fades and the more it fades the more we forget What We Can Affect. Which it turns out, is quite a lot. When we remember, we start to wake up. We stretch and we share a smile, we send a card, we ask for a little help, we offer a little help. We make this morning better, and sweeter. Then maybe, stronger from having spent more time on the other side of the Line, feeling gradually lighter, more hope-filled, more active, we get inspired. We do bigger things. Things that matter. Together. We see differently so we do differently. Until we learn the difference and until we start spending more time on the side of What We Can Affect, we’re not going to affect much. Which could be the point. What tiny huge thing CAN we affect today? |
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Laura - I always read your posts and am touched by your vulnerability , courage and honesty. Thank you for sharing from your heart. It is a rare gift in this world. A gift we humans are in desperate need of. You put out so many heartfelt blog pieces that touch my heart and move me down the right path at the right time. Pure beautiful magic girlie. I love you for this. Thank you for digging in there and finding the gems of wisdom and then just sharing them out as if there's an endless supply ... which with you, there is." Archives
December 2024
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"Thank You Laura for sharing, for teaching and spreading loving kindness. " "I think I love you. You bring good things into my life, or remind me of things I love and know, but have let go of." "Laura, you are so good for me. I laugh and sniffle and get the shivers when I read your essays. Thanks so much for letting all your wonderfulness run around loose." "Heart-achingly beautiful, your words and how you reveal your truth." "Thank you so much for who you are and what you share with the world. Your mere being transforms lives as it has transformed mine. This particular post did to my heart what water does to parched soil." "Thank you for your gentle words that are packed full of wisdom. I have been struggling with the concept of what words can do to another person when they are negative words. Your words are the flip side of our word power, and shows how delightfully powerful kind words can be. Thank you." "Once again Laura Lavigne takes you on an adventure of the heart. She has a way of pulling you right in the car with her. Asking you to consider changing a fear to taking thoughtful action. Whether she's teaching a class, leading a retreat or heading for a happiness sprinkling, Laura will invite you to shed old ways of thinking and be completely authentic. Join in!" "Essentially pure love. I enjoy how Laura is kind to herself and to us other humans who dance in and out of each other's lives. " "Don't miss a post! You can count on Laura for warmth, humor, charm, and a lift to your day and your heart. She inspires me to be braver than I am, and to love the world out loud. She's a gem, and a generous one at that!" Me
I write because this is the way I am able to taste life more deeply. |