 PSA: adding the words “in the middle of a pandemic” to random recounting of what’s going on in our lives is not mandatory. Possibly not helpful, either.
We get to decide how much more power we give to the stories of our life. What we amp up, what become the main features. What else is going on, in your life?  The creative process is a funny one. One thing for sure: it does not show up on command, nor does it go away just because the time is not convenient.
Exactly three years ago, I had isolated myself in a hilly medieval village in Italy, to write. On my first morning in the tiny house I had rented, I set up "my writing table," facing the Mediterranean. I was going to write... something. I did not know what, but it was going to be good. For the first time in three decades, I had no one to take care of but myself, no one to interrupt me, and by golly, there was finally room for whatever was inside of me - surely it would be brilliant - to come out. Nothing. Nothing came out. Day after day, I would walk past the little table on my way to the market, to the beach, or to my bed for yet another nap. By the time I moved out and picked up my backpack (and my laptop) a month later, I had written a couple of blog posts and slept a whole lot. It was a humbling and soothing reminder that I am not in charge, that I only get to co-pilot this thing, and that most likely, my plans are nowhere near as good as what Life has in mind for me. God knows I needed the rest. As time passes, I am learning that projects and ideas have a personality of their own. If we pay attention, they will tell us just what they need, and how they need it. Some projects flutter by and just tu du du du du ... plant a little seed, lightly, innocently, just leaving it there, you know? Then saunter away while the seed remains slowly germinating, sometimes for years. There's nothing inherently wrong with that as long as we can allow ourselves to cohabitate with it peacefully and kindly. Without itching, without name-calling. Without making it an incomplete either, but rather an open invitation. It's tricky business. I have a couple of book-seeds that are doing just that, some of them quieter than others. And then, there is the other kind. The kind that whisks by us, throws us a seed and demands that it be planted, watered, harvested, AND shared ... now. When that happens, I find it best to surrender, to get out of the way. To not wait for the perfect table overlooking the sea. I am also learning that when that happens, resistance is futile - as is perfectionism. Excuses don't really work either. "The Disease" is this kind of book. It showed up pretty much exactly when I had decided that I was not going to work for ten days. When I had made a conscious decision to leave my laptop at home as I got on a plane, not even having access to my email. It showed up, and I knew instantly that it would not go away. It first spoke to me as I was hiking in the jungle. It had that little quality, kind of hard to explain, that distinguishes it from a "me" thought. Yes, it's in my mind, but it's not "of me." There is a distance, there. A familiarity but not a melding. I know that some of you will know exactly what I mean. So I took dictation on my phone recorder. First in the jungle, then on buses, in tiny restaurants. Wherever I was when it showed up. It lasted five days. Then I got home to a bunch of other projects - and lots of emails - and thought that it could sit there for a while. Not so. It asked for a couple more days. Just enough time to package it and send it out into the world. Which I am now doing. Here you go: The Disease. I did not choose the title. I don't think I would have chosen this title, right now. But that's what it is. I did choose (I think) the cover, though. It is a rendition of the view from one of the places where I slept during this trip. A small bustling village where the river meets the sea. I really love this view. In a nutshell, The Disease is a series of very short sentences describing specifically the way in which an ailment that seems to operate in a whole lot of our minds affects us - followed by two antidotes. I am releasing this baby into the world so that I may go back to painting and doing "my" projects. I trust that it will go exactly where it needs to go. It seems to have done a good job of this, so far. With a virtual hug, - Laura PS: For the sake of Ease and expediency, I have put it in Amazon's hands. I can't say that I feel 100% good about it but I just don't have it in me to order prints and ship them individually, right now. If you'd like, you can order it HERE, in Kindle or in print. If you do, I would love for you to take the time to leave a review. It will help get it into more hands and hearts.  Our gut knows.
We can argue with it, fight it, ignore it, reason with it. It still knows. what is your gut telling you? |
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Laura - I always read your posts and am touched by your vulnerability , courage and honesty. Thank you for sharing from your heart. It is a rare gift in this world. A gift we humans are in desperate need of. You put out so many heartfelt blog pieces that touch my heart and move me down the right path at the right time. Pure beautiful magic girlie. I love you for this. Thank you for digging in there and finding the gems of wisdom and then just sharing them out as if there's an endless supply ... which with you, there is." Archives
October 2024
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"Thank You Laura for sharing, for teaching and spreading loving kindness. " "I think I love you. You bring good things into my life, or remind me of things I love and know, but have let go of." "Laura, you are so good for me. I laugh and sniffle and get the shivers when I read your essays. Thanks so much for letting all your wonderfulness run around loose." "Heart-achingly beautiful, your words and how you reveal your truth." "Thank you so much for who you are and what you share with the world. Your mere being transforms lives as it has transformed mine. This particular post did to my heart what water does to parched soil." "Thank you for your gentle words that are packed full of wisdom. I have been struggling with the concept of what words can do to another person when they are negative words. Your words are the flip side of our word power, and shows how delightfully powerful kind words can be. Thank you." "Once again Laura Lavigne takes you on an adventure of the heart. She has a way of pulling you right in the car with her. Asking you to consider changing a fear to taking thoughtful action. Whether she's teaching a class, leading a retreat or heading for a happiness sprinkling, Laura will invite you to shed old ways of thinking and be completely authentic. Join in!" "Essentially pure love. I enjoy how Laura is kind to herself and to us other humans who dance in and out of each other's lives. " "Don't miss a post! You can count on Laura for warmth, humor, charm, and a lift to your day and your heart. She inspires me to be braver than I am, and to love the world out loud. She's a gem, and a generous one at that!" Me
I write because this is the way I am able to taste life more deeply. |
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