Working from the Ballroom yesterday, I made the mistake of opening the window next to my desk for several hours. I wanted fresh air. I knew, somewhere, that this was not what was on the outside of the window frame, but I allowed myself the human-ness of delusion. After all, I had felt nothing for the last week of this intense smokiness. The sun was a perfectly round red-orange ball in the sky, the air was oddly still and everything looked a bit like a sci-fi film. It was strange and interesting. I felt no physical ailment from it at all.
But yesterday, I needed fresh air. And I worked for three hours straight next to an open window.
Then, just as I realized that my salad tasted as though it had gone through a smoker, I felt it.
By the time I left work, I was nauseated and headachy. The kind of yuk that even a plate of truffle French fries didn’t help.
Last night, I woke up gasping for air, coughing. It had caught up to me with a revenge.
Smoke in the air.
This morning, we have 3 times worse air quality than Bejing, China.
It’s no fun. It’s harmful.
And today, short of getting on a plane or embarking on a long road trip, there’s little we can do about it.
So, as I start my day and as I know that this terrible stuff is likely be the main topic of conversation in grocery stores, coffee shops and online, I am deciding right now that I need to not let myself get comfy with this easy subject matter over which I have no control.
I believe that my body listens carefully to the stories that my mind, my mouth and other mouths tell. And that it responds.
Today, I need for my body to believe in its ability to perform well, to take good care of me, even under unusual circumstances.
I need to have calm, powerful, grateful thoughts swim through every crevice of my mind and bathe my whole being in trust.
I need to speak and hear words of resilience and health.
I need to come back to me and to that place where all is clear and fresh and friendly.
As you go through your own day and receive offers to engage in varied conversations, I invite you to join me there.
SCARED OF THE SACRED