I have been having a tough time this morning. Couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I knew it was personal, not just global.
I also know that when internal rumbles threaten to get our sanity, it’s often a good idea to go to the simplest next step. For me it was doing the dishes. With my hands in hot soapy water, I could start to feel the emotion, feel it make its way up to the surface. I breathed through it and asked it to tell me more. It wasn’t long before I knew what was happening: a re-traumatizing. A reliving a deep feeling of being geographically stuck. The third time in my life and this time with more awareness than I’ve been able to access in the past. Pretty soon, the sobs came and I was leaning against the sink, feeling all three events - spanning almost 40 years - at the same time. It’s tough to stay with so much flooding but I knew that having bypassed it before had not been what I wanted to do again. In not too long, a little ray of lightness showed up, along with a call to action. I dried my hands and then I saw this little pinch pot that I had made just a few weeks ago, before the madness started. The rays of light in the photo are not a filter. They were just there, giving me a hug I think. No social distancing from Magic.
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