Something started bubbling up for me last night. A memory of several years ago and a current exploration of how else I could have shown up at that moment.
I brought this exploration to my morning pages and in doing so, connected with a new version of me. A more courageous version of me, and a more self knowing version of me.
I believe - I want very much to believe, - that faced with the same situation today, I would act much differently. I would still feel the difficulty, the awkwardness, the potential grief also, but maybe I would step over them the way we might step over a bunch of laundry spilled out into the floor. I would see them and their messiness, their inconvenience, and I would know that at some point I would have to deal with them. But I would love me enough to walk away. Really, I would KNOW me enough to walk away.
These moments are tender and delicious. They show us the places where we have stretched enough times that we now accommodate a more authentic “us.”
Having finished my own writing, I reached for Mark Nepo’s book and opened it to today’s piece. This is what I read:
“I have come to believe that we are destined to be opened by the living of our days, and whether we like it or not, whether we choose to participate or not, we will, in time, everyone of us, wear the deeper part of who we are as a new skin. Either by erosion from without or by shedding from within – and often by both – we are forced to live more authentically.”
These are my musings for now 🙂
I hope your week is lovely.