I felt pretty confident that the electricity topic might just be really close to being taken care of. Which is a huge deal. The last one of the "off-grid trinity" I knew I was going to work with when I started this adventure: Electric, water, sewer. Today, it looks like we have the electric very close to being checked off, the water will either be delivered by truck or some sort of other well-related arrangement, as well as collected from the rain, and the fosa is looking pretty and ready to handle the sewage. Not bad. Actually writing this right now, I allow myself to breathe in the accomplishment of this. Really, two months ago I knew nothing about any of it. Which might be why I moved forward. Naivety is sometimes a great guide towards showing us how strong we can be.
Still. Jorge was working alone and I could tell he had some feelings about it.
Feeling which I was about to catch, possibly in a less calm way than his.
"So... where is everybody?"
"Well, Anselmo's nephew is very sick so he is with him today."
Ugh, I don't like hearing about nephews being very sick..."
"What about Rigo and Catarino?"
"Well, the car's transmission went out so they're fixing it and will be by later."
Not after last week.
It turns out: yes way.
As I shared my feelings of frustration with Jorge, he quietly said to me "I am mad, too" and I heard that he really was not happy about any of it.
Writing about it right now is getting me agitated and I know that it's not going to help. So let's skip the details. We talked about getting a new crew, I offered - then rescinded - to take over the payroll. I went home and said I would return in the afternoon.
When I did, he was still alone - no one else coming today, and when I asked him how I could help he asked me for a hug. And then told me what I most needed to hear: not to worry about the money.
Really, even though I now know way too much about "being told what I want to hear" I don't have much of a choice. I am going to trust him and not worry about the money.
When I asked him what he needed from me, his answer was: a big hug.
On the way home, I saw an old door sitting in someone's yard and made a plan to go check it out tomorrow. Because even though I am going to try to not worry about the money, my single mom radar kicked in and if we need to save money on doors, I bet we can make this one work just fine.
It will be okay. Better than okay.
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