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I have been in love with Mexico for longer than I know and certainly since way before I finally, finally drove my Subaru full of kids across the border for just an afternoon almost twenty years ago. Why? I have a couple of theories. One is that Mexico feels a bit like a blend of France and Italy. It’s an ok theory. But the big one, the one that lights me up the most and the one I likely will never be able to prove is that it is very possible that I was conceived in Mexico. I love this possibility. My parents got married at the end of January, I was born at the end of December and there are many photos of them in Acapulco on their honeymoon, one of my mom driving a baby blue VW Bug and another one of her with a bunch of parrots on her arm. If they waited just a little bit after the wedding to get on the plane and if they hung out over here for a few weeks… voila! Their fiesta might have sealed my fate. No matter what or where, I love Mexico in a way that I have not loved any other country. I was born in France and then entered into an arranged marriage with the United States. It was not a bad marriage but I always knew that there was another love for me. When I met Mexico, I recognized it with my heart, it opened its arms to me, and we quickly became part-time lovers. It took more than a decade to make it official, and here we are today, living in a little house at the foot of the jungle and feeling very right. My son commented to me last week that I now have a slight Spanish accent when I speak English (which I have never spoken without an accent anyway) and even though my French still flows fluidly, I am making peace with the fact that I speak everything with bits of everything else. This is not just about speaking but also about being. I am … nothing. Not fully French, never truly American and I know that I will never be Mexican. There can be a bit of grief to this, a bit of rootlessness, if I let it. Some days I do and most days I don’t. But on all days, I know that my best ally, the one that will keep me well as I navigate the mixed waves is … Humility. Humility means understanding that instead of being here to teach, I am here to learn. And then to learn some more. My ways are not better and even if they were, it would not matter. I am here to learn and the curriculum is vast. Humility means remembering that no matter what official papers say and no matter how long I buy my groceries here, I am a guest. Being a guest is a gift, an honor. It is something to cherish and to care for. And it is something that can be revoked, if not officially, implicitly. I try to metaphorically not put my feet on the table, and I accept my place as really, not just a guest, but also an uninvited one. This is a big distinction. I did not receive an invitation based on how much people knew they would enjoy having me here. Instead, I showed up. So yes, I am an uninvited guest. Which is kind of cool because it means I get to try to make sure (most) people are glad I came. Again, humility. Even - or especially - in the midst of contribution. I yield the way on the sidewalk when there is only room for one person to pass, I accept that my mere presence may feel weird to people sometimes, too. I connect heart to heart as much as I can and I am deeply, deeply moved by the love that often comes my way, the frequent non-spoken “we’ve decided that you’re okay” smiles. It’s a dance, maybe something akin to marrying into a family from another culture. Some days I trip or step on my own toes, but then I hear the music and I get back up. This week is Dia de Muertos which is my favorite holiday, a profoundly beautiful tradition. For the next few days, people will honor their dead with a joyful celebration, inviting them to visit on the night of November 1st. Altars with bright orange flowers, food, and a sense of love and gratitude are in the air. As much as I cherish Christmas with my family, I have never met a celebration that fed me so much. I am so glad to get to live here and I am so very very happy to learn every day the sweet lessons that live at the crossroads of humility, contribution, and joy. Comments are closed.
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"Every time I read your blog I am so profoundly happy I did. The truth you speak is just mindboggling. The real, real voice you have. It makes me almost crazy how much I love your words and your way of telling stories that cut to the quick- and I never have the words to really say how much this all means to me.
Laura - I always read your posts and am touched by your vulnerability , courage and honesty. Thank you for sharing from your heart. It is a rare gift in this world. A gift we humans are in desperate need of. You put out so many heartfelt blog pieces that touch my heart and move me down the right path at the right time. Pure beautiful magic girlie. I love you for this. Thank you for digging in there and finding the gems of wisdom and then just sharing them out as if there's an endless supply ... which with you, there is." Archives
February 2025
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"Thank You Laura for sharing, for teaching and spreading loving kindness. " "I think I love you. You bring good things into my life, or remind me of things I love and know, but have let go of." "Laura, you are so good for me. I laugh and sniffle and get the shivers when I read your essays. Thanks so much for letting all your wonderfulness run around loose." "Heart-achingly beautiful, your words and how you reveal your truth." "Thank you so much for who you are and what you share with the world. Your mere being transforms lives as it has transformed mine. This particular post did to my heart what water does to parched soil." "Thank you for your gentle words that are packed full of wisdom. I have been struggling with the concept of what words can do to another person when they are negative words. Your words are the flip side of our word power, and shows how delightfully powerful kind words can be. Thank you." "Once again Laura Lavigne takes you on an adventure of the heart. She has a way of pulling you right in the car with her. Asking you to consider changing a fear to taking thoughtful action. Whether she's teaching a class, leading a retreat or heading for a happiness sprinkling, Laura will invite you to shed old ways of thinking and be completely authentic. Join in!" "Essentially pure love. I enjoy how Laura is kind to herself and to us other humans who dance in and out of each other's lives. " "Don't miss a post! You can count on Laura for warmth, humor, charm, and a lift to your day and your heart. She inspires me to be braver than I am, and to love the world out loud. She's a gem, and a generous one at that!" Me
I write because this is the way I am able to taste life more deeply. |