I have been in Mexico for a couple of days now getting ready for a Happiness Retreat.

Yesterday afternoon, I was walking around town, getting lost the way I love to get lost in a new place.

Across the street, I spotted a woman sitting on a chair and seemingly creating shawls out of her fingers. I got closer and saw that indeed, that was what she was doing! No crochet, no needles. From a simple yarn to beautiful, beautiful shawls of all colors. she had so much grace and was even more beautiful than her creations.

She also had a handful of hand created purses. I picked one up but the strap was too short. She said that she could make it longer if I wanted to wait a little bit. So we agreed that I would come back in a couple of hours.

A couple of hours later, I could not find her anywhere. I just could not find the street where we had talked. I walked and walked and then it got dark so I went home.

This morning, I decided that I would find her, somehow. She had made this adjustment for me and I had to find her and buy the purse. So somehow I did.

As I was getting ready to pick up my new purse, it occurred to me that a zipper would be really nice. I teetered between not wanting to be difficult and also really wanting to make this purse work really well for me since it already meant so much to me. So… I asked.

She made a huge smile and said that if I remembered where she was, I could come back two hours later and that she would put a zipper on it. A couple of hours later, when I showed up, she was there with her husband and we had some sweet conversation. He called her an artist and she said that she would add some zippers to some of her purses, from now on.

I wish she had not closed her lips when we took this photo because her smile is glorious.

Meet Ramona 🌸

With love,

​- Laura

A few short weeks ago, a relationship that had been very important to me ended. It had to end, and with full knowledge that it had to end, I took a deep breath when it came time for me to disconnect parts of my heart.

I was not prepared for the extremely drastic switch that got flipped on the other side.

For the other person, it was important that we go instantly from being best friends of several years to business associates who barely tolerate one another.

I was jolted, and for a while, I lost my ground. 
Sleep eluded me, my mind became foggy, and food became an inconvenience.

I reached for my tools.

I meditated, I moved my body, I talked, I got quiet. I wrote. I created daily mantras - and these seem to help a lot, like aloe vera on a sunburn.

Of course, I grabbed my magic wand: GRATITUDE.

As I went about my day, I made sure to remember to feel the Gratitude for what had been. As my mentor, Alice Herz-Sommer suggests, "I looked where it's good." After all, it is the obvious right thing to do, isn't it?

Except that it did not work.

Whereas everything else seemed to nudge me (albeit not always directly) in the direction of healing, I could tell that my gratitude practice was wreaking havoc on me.

How could that be? I KNOW that Gratitude is the way, and even as it "was not working," I so strongly trust in its power that I knew it had to be something else. 
Operator error. Yes, it had to be operator error.

The second I opened up to where or how I might be using the healing power of Gratitude in a wonky way - the second I asked - the answer came: 
Connect with your Gratitude for where you are now.

In other words: What are the Gifts of having been brave enough to walk away? 
Whew. Game changer. 

Within seconds, I was able to allow myself to feel the Gratitude for this new chapter. In precise, small, and possibly petty details. I let the words flood my sore heart and mind like a warm wave of all that's good. 

It worked. It worked so well.

Every night, or even in the middle of the night, when I still wake up with a raw heart and a bit of panic, I pick up my slightly altered Gratitude wand, and I gently shake it around. I do if first thing in the morning, too. Occasionally in the daytime, when I hit a little sharp edge.

What are the Gifts of the choice I made? Independently of how the other person needs to live this, what are the Gifts? 
Little by little, I am getting there. And I know that eventually, when Life and Time have done their sacred work, I will be able to pull out the other list. The one that tells me of all the good things, the things that no amount of instant switch flipping can erase. That time will come.

In the process, I have learned that while I still believe that Gratitude will always lead us to our highest, most beautiful place, the area where we orient its wand is crucial to its power. Like most everything in being a human, this is a co-creation process. Life says: "Here, take this. It works so very well. And YOU get to decide how to use it."

Today, I invite you to look at the precious helpers of your life, the tools you have amassed, the things you know "work." And I invite you to use your beautiful goodwill in deciding how and where you want to use them. I invite you to look past "the obvious right thing to do," and tweak things as needed, often just a little notch. 

And I also invite us, in times of painful transitions, to stay close to us, to our own language. To the place where things feel right in our gut, even if our ego has a little tantrum.

I wish you lots and lots of Gratitude in just the right places. 

Love, 

- Laura

I wanted to share this article with you as it resonates so clearly with me.

It asks for so much of us (inwardly) to be truly generous and not focus on ourselves - our needs, our opinions, our own experiences - when something big happens to someone we love. To let ourselves fade away in true love-service and simply support and witness.

I have needed an extra amount of this the past few weeks, and have seen how powerful simple presence, calm “pulling questions” and light touches are. I think this is a mastery level of being human and being in relationships. For some of us, it comes eerily naturally, and for some of us, we have to work at it.

It’s the beautiful dance of being humans around humans.

I hope you enjoy it.

Love,

Laura